It’s been a while

So here I am. Back for more punishment. I have tried, when I write on here, to be honest about my feelings. I will try today. I haven’t written in a bit because I’m not feeling hopeful. I’ve been depressed about my late wife. May 29th was her birthday, and it was a bit of a struggle. My energy has been nonexistant I suspect due to low T levels and not high enough E levels. And my child is beginning to notice some things.

This TERRIFIES me. I fear telling them more than anything. I fear rejection. I also fear my transition is failing. Like everything else I’ve done in my life. I just don’t know. Right now I’m sad, confused and upset. I honestly don’t know if I am going to continue my transition or not. I’m so awash in conflict right now.